(NEW YORK) — The U.S. surgeon general is calling for a “fundamental shift” in how the mental health and well-being of parents is supported and prioritized.
In a health advisory released Wednesday, Dr. Vivek Murthy, himself a father of two, said parents and caregivers are struggling amid a youth mental health crisis, financial difficulties, social media issues and more.
“Parents typically don’t talk about this all the time,” Murthy said in an interview that aired Wednesday on ABC News’ Good Morning America. “They tend to focus on their kids’ health and well-being, but there’s also this sense of shame and guilt, sometimes around struggling as a parent.”
Citing statistics that show parents are consistently more likely to report high levels of stress than other adults, Murthy wrote in the advisory there needs to be a culture shift and an all-hands-on-deck approach to supporting parents from employers, government agencies, health care providers and local communities.
According to the advisory, 48% of parents say most days, their stress is completely overwhelming, compared to 26% of other adults without kids.
“Supporting parents and caregivers will require a series of thoughtful policy changes and expanded community programs that will help ensure parents and caregivers can get time off to be with a sick child, secure affordable child care, access reliable mental health care, and benefit from places and initiatives that support social connection and community,” Murthy wrote. “It will also require us to rethink cultural norms around parenting.”
He continued, “Part of that will involve shifting how we value parenting. The work of raising a child is work, no less valuable than the work performed in a paid job and of extraordinary value when it comes to the impact on the future of society.”
According to the advisory, more than 60 million parents in the U.S. live with children under the age of 18.
The U.S. is currently one of seven countries globally that does not have any guaranteed form of universal paid leave, according to a petition to pass paid leave on a federal level in the U.S. that was delivered to all members of Congress in July.
Data released by the U.S. Census Bureau earlier this year found that, on average, families pay between 8% to 19% of their income per child on child care.
Kaitlyn Niles, a 34-year-old working mom of two, told GMA that she feels the pressure to balance her career and family and to meet the often unattainable standard of parenting set by society.
“There’s so much pressure on parents to spend all of this quality time with your kids, like sit on the ground and play pretend with your 4-year-old, you know,” Niles said. “And when you think about it logically, it’s like, there’s no way my mom was able to do that with six kids.”
Meanwhile, Eric Martinez, a father of two from Colorado, said he has had to learn new strategies in limiting his kids’ access to technology and social media.
“Navigating those conversations can be challenging because it’s new. It’s new for all of us,” he told GMA. “You know, we didn’t share this experience growing up. We didn’t have access to this technology when we were 7, 8, 9, 10 years old, so we’re kind of figuring this out as we go along.”
Murthy stated in this week’s advisory that the stressors parents are experiencing have made them vulnerable to the nationwide epidemic of loneliness and isolation.
“It also turns out that parents are struggling with loneliness at a much higher level than other adults, particularly single parents,” Murthy said, speaking with GMA.
In his advisory, Murthy noted that parents and caregivers should remember that it’s OK to set healthy boundaries and take time for themselves, which in turn will make them better supports for their family.
In addition, parents and caregivers are encouraged to “nurture connections” with other parents and caregivers and to seek professional mental health support when needed.
If you or someone you know are experiencing suicidal, substance use or other mental health crises, please call or text 988. You will reach a trained crisis counselor for free, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. You can also go to 988lifeline.org.
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